Facebook page <\/a>Wednesday, Hoover posted the following declaration:<\/p>\nNo Trophy For You<\/strong><\/p>\nThe last time I won an Emmy was in 2006 for\u00a0Individual Achievement on Camera: Performer.<\/em><\/p>\nWhen the nominations were announced that year, I learned that I was the only nominee in the category.<\/em><\/p>\nHow exciting!<\/em><\/p>\nThat excitement quickly evaporated after someone from the Emmy committee pulled me aside to tell me it doesn't mean I will win.<\/em><\/p>\nWhat?<\/em><\/p>\nHow could I be the only nominee and not win?<\/em><\/p>\n\"And the nominees are, wait a second here.\u00a0 Oh, and the nominee is Jeff Hoover.\u00a0 And the winner goes to...there is no winner.\"<\/em><\/p>\nThat would have been a waste of a tuxedo rental on a Sunday night in November.<\/em><\/p>\nLuckily, that didn't happen.<\/em><\/p>\nI won.<\/em><\/p>\nI leaped from my chair and ran up onto the stage and dry humped Rich Koz while almost getting punched by Janet Davies.<\/em><\/p>\n(I have the video somewhere. And Rich told me that I somehow knocked his contact lens up into his eyeball. Sorry, Sven.)<\/em><\/p>\nEver since that night, I have entered that very same category.<\/em><\/p>\nAnd lost.<\/em><\/p>\nIn bizzaro ways.<\/em><\/p>\nI've lost to a group of performers.<\/em><\/p>\nWhat?!\u00a0 I thought it was INDIVIDUAL achievement<\/em><\/p>\nThe committee tried to explain that one to me.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\nThey said it was a group performing as one or something sketchy like that.<\/em><\/p>\nAnd I've lost to the deaf reporter from ABC 7.<\/em><\/p>\nHow did we get into the same clown car category?<\/em><\/p>\nShe does great reports about some wonderful people--and I tell jokes in a robot costume.<\/em><\/p>\nOne year I even lost to a gospel preacher that hosts a show called \"SINGSATION.\"<\/em><\/p>\nAgain, how do I compete against Jesus?<\/em><\/p>\nTo add insult to injury, his entry was submitted by a director that works\u00a0HERE at WGN Morning News.<\/em><\/p>\nAs a result of these odd experiences, I swore I wouldn't submit an entry again.<\/em><\/p>\nFor a couple of years, I was able to just say NO.<\/em><\/p>\nBut I got sucked back in last year and submitted a composite of some of what I felt was my best performances.<\/em><\/p>\nGuess what?<\/em><\/p>\nI didn't get nominated.<\/em><\/p>\nGuess who did?<\/em><\/p>\nABC 7's Hosea Sanders.<\/em><\/p>\nMic drop.<\/em><\/p>\nI thought I would have stopped this game years ago when\u00a0the year the 2-hour special \"Bozo, Gar & Ray\" I helped produce lost to a Wisconsin's TV station's story on BBQ.<\/em><\/p>\nI'm done.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\nNo more.<\/em><\/p>\nThat's it.<\/em><\/p>\nI have my Emmy.<\/em><\/p>\nI might only have one, but I earned it before the committee started allowing groups to win Individual Achievement Awards.<\/em><\/p>\nAnd before they added Correspondent and Narrator to the Performance category.<\/em><\/p>\nI have to believe that there is no category for me anymore.<\/em><\/p>\nAnd that's fine by me.<\/em><\/p>\nI'll save $200 on the entry fee.<\/em><\/p>\n(Yes, you have to pay to play.\u00a0 And it really smarts when the Emmy committee get your money and you don't even get nominated.)<\/em><\/p>\nOne more thing about the Emmys and news.<\/em><\/p>\nIt's pretty dumb to win an award for best news coverage for a house fire that kills a family or something tragic like that.<\/em><\/p>\nSeeing news teams in formal wear patting each other on the back for their stellar coverage of a families nightmare is just plain wrong to me.<\/em><\/p>\n\"We'd like to thank that family of 4 for burning to death. We couldn't have done this without you.\"<\/em><\/p>\nIt's time to look at the bigger picture.<\/em><\/p>\nAs long as I am having fun and making people laugh and smile, that'll always be better than another Emmy to me.<\/em><\/p>\nThanks for your love and support.<\/em><\/p>\nMost importantly, thank you for watching.<\/em><\/p>\nYour loyal viewership and friendship means everything.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Local Emmy Awards have always been an exercise in self-congratulations, to be sure, but somewhere along the way they lost their luster \u2014 and their relevance. Today they\u2019re little more than a moneymaking enterprise for the Chicago\/Midwest chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences, which rakes in thousands in membership fees, entry... 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